I'm so done with over thinking and over analyzing and all the angst that comes with it, especially the middle of the night variety. I'm ready to just live and live authentically with purpose and joy. I'll be happy because I choose to be, I'll sew when I want, and I'll write when I want and I'll live how I want. I will honor my body and it's lovely hard work, the 5 children it carried and the me it carries still. For an over-feeling, over-sharing, over-thinking girl it's not easy to just trust the way. But I do. I will not apologize for the space I take up or the noise I make, nor will I feel badly for putting myself and my path at the top the list. I will make things, sew-stitch-knit to my heart's content, I will write, I will move my body, I will walk in the mountains, put my feet in any body of water I can find, I'll stand under the stars and talk to the moon, I'll curl up on the couch and watch silly TV or movies, I will eat good food and learn to nourish myself in all ways, I'll drink tons of water and do a face mask on Sundays, I will grow my hair and I will cut my hair on a whim, I will nap when I want to, I will probably get another tattoo. I will ride a horse again this year and I'm plan to learn to make amazing mini blackberry pies. I will wear what I want, I will read all the books on my night stand or maybe I'll get a totally new book and read that, I will take road trips to anywhere I want, spend time with people I adore whenever I can, maybe revive my handmade business or maybe not but mostly and most importantly.....I'll stop explaining or defending who I am, what I choose to do or what I stand for. I'm going to answer the questions about life by just living this big amazing decade of my life that I've been waiting for. I think I will walk my walk and see where the winding road goes... Here is to living life....
Happiest of New Years to you all.
<3 Barbara
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
~Mary Oliver , The Summer Day~
I took a job a year ago and walked away from my handmade business and this blog, although to be honest.. I had been sputtering along for a while on both. Discouraged, unsure and needing steady income for the life journey ahead (more on that in future posts) I just left it all be and didn't close doors but didn't actually stay either.... I've dealt with some medical stuff that needed dealing with (MUCH more on that soon as well) , I've settled into a full time work schedule and adjusted as needed. But....something has been missing, I've felt lonely and not quite in synch with myself and wondered what it was I needed to do. I woke in the middle of the night and heard a whisper "time to get back to work".... and if I have learned one thing...trust the whispers. I have absolutely NO IDEA what shape this will take or the frequency with which I will create and write. I know my work space has sat empty and unused with projects in the middle of being made. Writings in the middle of being written and ideas left alone to wait for me to return. Here is the first of it. warming up my writing brain and hoping that what is inside will come out the way I want it to but also just trusting that this is exactly where I need to be. A sweet inspiration for a collection of handmade goods is sprouting and I'm going to follow it all where it leads. I know I ask this a lot but it's true...I hope you will come along with me.