Walking the Walk

Well I could tell you all the reasons and whys that I haven't been here, haven't written, haven't sewn and haven't been to the gym in a year. I could explain and go back but maybe just maybe it's not the way to go forward anymore.  I spent the last year finding out why I have felt physically and emotionally unbalanced for the last decade. Totally my fault for not dealing with it but there is more to it than blame. I simply just couldn't and then I could or rather I did and I'm glad for it. I did the best I could to do what was needed and that's that..... Moving on...



  


I'm so done with over thinking and over analyzing and all the angst that comes with it, especially the middle of the night variety. I'm ready to just live and live authentically with purpose and joy. I'll be happy because I choose to be,  I'll sew when I want, and I'll write when I want and I'll live how I want. I will honor my body and it's lovely hard work, the 5 children it carried and the me it carries still.  For an over-feeling, over-sharing, over-thinking girl it's not easy to just trust the way. But I do. I will not apologize for the space I take up or the noise I make, nor will I feel badly for putting myself and my path at the top the list. I will make things, sew-stitch-knit to my heart's content, I will write, I will move my body, I will walk in the mountains, put my feet in any body of water I can find,  I'll stand under the stars and talk to the moon, I'll curl up on the couch and watch silly TV or movies, I will eat good food and learn to nourish myself in all ways, I'll drink tons of water and do a face mask on Sundays, I will grow my hair and I will cut my hair on a whim, I will nap when I want to,   I will probably get another tattoo. I will ride a horse again this year and I'm plan to learn to make amazing mini blackberry pies. I will wear what I want,  I will read all the books on my night stand or maybe I'll get a totally new book and read that, I will take road trips to anywhere I want, spend time with people I adore whenever I can, maybe revive my handmade business or maybe not but mostly and most importantly.....I'll stop explaining or defending who I am, what I choose to do or what I stand for. I'm going to answer the questions about life by just living this big amazing decade of my life that I've been waiting for.  I think I will walk my walk and see where the winding road goes...  Here is to living life....

Happiest of New Years to you all.

<3 Barbara

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
~Mary Oliver , The Summer Day~