This last year, I found that life had thrown some big rough things in my way. I picked them up, carried them along and as also happens, I broke down a bit from the load. But this is a story of goodness, peace, the gift of clarity and fresh starts that come only after carrying the biggest of rough loads. The kind of goodness where you learn that you actually get to make a choice as how you deal with the loads. I had spent much too long being really pissed off and sad and seeing the world through a whole lot of struggle. Clearly not the best approach at all.
Summer got here right after I did a big vintage show which I did right after I had barely begun to shake off my pissedoffness and I would say that I just hadn't gotten my feet under me in many many months. I
My youngest sons are both in high school, the oldest is a senior,
So.... for the first time in as long as I can remember, I put away the sewing machine, started moving fabrics out of every nook and cranny of our small home, put things into the shelves in the garage and stopped spending every moment either at the computer or the sewing machine. I just stopped it all. I started hanging out, working with them to clean bathrooms, clear up piles of outgrown clothes and toss out what we don't need that is cluttering our living space. We are doing this together. I am working to give them back our home and give them back my attention. I will be ready soon to check back in to my business, the sewing machine is calling my name and I've missed it but I've learned a great deal by getting a bit more present.
I call it Summer Girl Life, my slow quiet summer way of being. Taking back the notion that life even quiet and noneventful at times is of value. It's not a flashy "look at me" life that I see on Instagram, (its hard to not compare, I admit I am competitive) its more about small moments, time to listen to Jack tell a ridiculous joke, or watch World Cup Soccer with Hank because he wants me to be there with him. I've read a book and watched movies in the cool house instead of finding something more "important" to do. We were gifted a sweet pool; we have floated, talked and ran in circles to make a whirlpool that sweeps us around the edge of the water like a carnival ride. There have been days when nothing much happens at all except hanging out and making big bowls of macaroni and cheese. And I've been knitting and immersing myself in the calm meditative, mind managing peace found in the knits and purls of many hats. . I needed to forget the big rough loads that came into the path and how heavy they were to haul around. They needed me to just be here now. There has been no greater gift than a summer spent just having a summer. And knitting hats. Lots and lots of hats.