I struggle at times with feeling sad....I do. I fall into a rabbit hole that drops me from doing okay to not so much in a short time. I'm emotional and I'm not good at hiding it. So there. I've made a serious serious decision to fight this deep rabbit hole at every turn to be happy and live happy. But sometimes I fail at that because what sends me tumbling down there, is feeling unloved and forgotten. I realize this is my own doing, yes I do. . For how many years have we heard "you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you" I mean really... when you suck at feeling loved, how on earth can you love yourself so that you are able to accept and give love. That statement has baffled me...
And then I read this......
"It was my life-like all lives, mysterious and irrevocable and sacred. So very close, so very present, so very belonging to me. How wild it was, to let it be"
Cheryl Strayed~ Wild~
Let me tell you, I had to stop and read that over and over and over, about 10 overs and it was a light bulb moment. My life is sacred and belongs to me. Let it be...... Even as I type these words, I am in tears because this is the deal. If my life is sacred, if I was made this way, wired like this with love and raw emotion... Who am I not to love that, to love myself. Why wouldn't I give to me what I want to give to the world and what I want back. LIFE CHANGING stuff at least for my messy heart. If I am sacred, so is everyone else. We are all worthy of love....from ourselves first. Okay...I need to breathe after that...take in what that feels like to write it down, say it out loud and believe it deep in my soul....
I love deep talks with my sons, I love their perspective and their truths. I love their wisdom, trust me, the wise words that come from teenagers will break you wide open. I was rolling around in some less than happy emotions this morning, a little lonely and on the verge of tears... and my oldest said to me. "Mom, don't get lost in your feels, do something that makes you laugh and lighten up a bit. Trust the world and trust yourself." This from a kid who has been let down, stumbled and struggled more than anyone I know... I do get lost in my feels ( I love that name for my over thinking emotions) I think it's easy to do, one thing leads to another and there you are, heading for that place that won't serve you at all. Maybe if we walk away from our social media for a bit, go outside, face to the sun. Or have lunch with a friend, exercise your heart out, call someone you love and have a chat..MAKE SOMETHING. Maybe if we just don't get lost in our feels so very much, it will all seem a little less hard. Maybe if we throw that love around a bit more and open up our windows a bit wider, maybe that is how we stay out of the rabbit holes. Maybe we just trust that we are not alone in all of this...maybe that's it. Our sacred lives connected to other sacred lives....Well isn't that the magic?
"TOGETHER. WE CAN DO HARD THINGS BECAUSE WE BELONG TO EACH OTHER."
~Glennon Doyle Melton~
Don't get lost in your feels, love your sacred life and let it be, belong to each other. I think that is some good love to throw around. Especially on a Thursday.. Let's do it again soon!
Love you like wildflowers