Sunday, December 28, 2014

In my own hands.....

I get overwhelmed with the weight of so many things. The business of holding a home together, the business of getting myself where I need to be and everyone else where they need to be, keeping track of it all, managing my home business and all the marketing and producing that I feel should be done versus the marketing and producing that I can truly get done. The reeling in of my big ideas, what to wear , should I cut my hair or let it grow, are my kids doing okay, eating healthy, getting fit, making dentist appointments, cleaning toilets...all of it sometimes feels like a freaking avalanche coming  hard. You know life, it happens fast and EVERY SINGLE DAY!  Throw in a ginormous amount of overthinking and working on some hard stuff and I'm a hot tangled mess.....chaotic, wild hearted and tangled. I am not organized, effortless or easy at all. A bit of a bouncy storm.

At night in bed when I can't sleep it gets a little rocky in my thoughts, so I head out to the back yard, stand under the stars and breathe deep...I take a breath or two or fifty so I can calm my crazy thoughts and anxiety down...and then I look at my hands, I mean really look at them and I remember that with these hands I can do anything.  With my hands I can  hug my children and grandchildren, my hands can carry what I need, my hands created this kitchen table business and my hands will carry it through. My hands know the touch of a loved one's face and the grasp of a friend reaching out. With these hands I can make and making is what I do. It is my world and my passion and these hands of mine are my tools. I talk with my hands, I touch materials and know they will work with my hands, I use my hands for knitting, sewing and every other thing I do. I use my hands to measure fabric at work . I love to throw my hands in the air when I dance, celebrate or exclaim. I clap my hands together in joy, I cup them around my mouth so my sons will hear my voice on the football field, I reach to the stars at night in the quiet dark solitude when I pray. 

And so it is with all of us. We have in our hands the possibility of everything. Helpless never, hopeless, certainly not. Not when we have our hands for making and for holding. For reaching out and touching, for grabbing what we seek and keeping it tight.  I am so grateful for my hands, my heart, my truth, my tangled messy mess, all of it. This life of mine, is in my own hands; yours is  too. So here is my new business card photo, I love it so much I want to hand them out to everyone I see because this picture is my heart and speaks to who I am.... I love it, and that's that... With these hands I will find my way.....

"The final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands"
Anne Frank

Throw your hands in the air......


  1. Hurray!!! (That's me clapping with my little hands and sausage fingers. Lol!) 😘 Cheers to a great new year ahead! 🍻

  2. And wave 'em like you just don't care. This installment is magical. YOU are magical.

  3. Barbara YOU are an incredible woman. Beautifully written and straight from the heart. This is why I love you so!